My antidepressants are working and I'm really rather content. Grateful that i got through the dark times, grateful for the support received.
On reflection i realised why things got bad. I burnt myself out. I had hospital appointments most days so wasn't getting adequate rest. I was trying to be 'normal '. Well if other people can do it, so can i. The reality is I cannot do it. I live a quiet life for a reason and that is so i can manage my condition and use what little energy i have on things i enjoy.
Now this brings me onto my next reflection. Gratitude.
Last Friday i attended a gratitude workshop. Its run by the council for mental health. I wasn't sure what to expect but it really changed my perception on life. I've been dragging myself through the days, hoping for something better tomorrow, without appreciating what i have in this moment.
So here is a list of things i am grateful for :
1. I'm incredibly grateful for antidepressants being made. There is no shame to admit it. They have given me a life when i was in the midst of despair and not seeing a way out.
2. I'm grateful to the changingminds service on the nhs who helped me with cbt.
3. i'm hugely grateful for people who have donated or shared my gofundme me page. I cry every time at the incredible generosity of people. Many i have never met. So thankyou from the bottom of my heart
4. I'm grateful i could hear the birds singing and see the sun shining
5. I'm grateful that despite living a slower life, i get to watch the plants grow, people smile, the clouds in the sky and my cat playing in the garden.
These are just a few things i am grateful for. What are you grateful for today ?
Before i go i thought I would share a picture of mia helping me plant seeds, or rather just wanting fuss 😂
I hope you all have a lovely day x