Thursday 22 December 2022


 I thought it was time to reflect back on my year. It has been a journey of alot of learning and I'm glad i hung on to see better things.

At the beginning of the year i had a mental health crisis. It was due to coming off anti depressants and starting back on my original one. However my body didn't seem to like it and sent me into a spiral of negative thoughts. My lowest moment was feeling suicidal and told to go to a and e. They couldn't help me there and my gp wouldn't see my until a couple of days later. Those were the longest days of my life. I begged the doctor to switch medications and then he referred me to the mental health service.

They wrote me a letter and declined to see me because i started this new 'miracle' medication. I begged for help and there was noone there. The people that should of helped me didn't. 

Luckily my new medication worked and i stopped another med which could of bern interfering. I've been mentally well ever since.

My year didn't really start until june, I don't remember much of the start of the year except for the mental health volunteers who I would ring at 5am because I wasn't sleeping. I also went to my local mind which is a mental health charity and have been doing a couple of their courses to leatn how to deal with my mood if it happens again.

Once i got my mental health sorted, it was time to deal with my nerve pain. I had to see a pain management specialist privately because the doctors were just giving me meds I couldn't even get physio. I ended up having nerve block injections in my spine which lasted a few months. My next step is to get the nerves burned. Hoping this will give me longer relief.

I've spent alot of the year really learning about myself and pain. Part of me thinks I haven't achieved anything but i survived and I didn't think I'd be here now.

Next year I really want to get fitter after spending three years not doing much exercise due to pain. I'm getting a new manual wheelchair so i want to build the strength up to push it.

So I just wanted to say I hope you all have a lovely Christmas wherever you are and how you spend it. I know it can be a difficult time of year x

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