Learning Calligraphy with ThePostmansKnock

I've been interested in calligraphy for a while but never got round to learning it. So thanks to Lindsey from The PostmansKnock i am now learning. She has some fantastic tutorials which are so easy to understand. I love to learn in pictures and this is exactly what she does. Step by step guides with fab pictures.

Here is my first attempt. I made a tag and a birthday card for my mum. Hope you like them x

I also did an envelope for a friend x 

I have been a lazy blogger

i've wanted to update my blog for ages as i have so many things to show you. However i just didn't know where to start and the longer i left it, the harder it got.

But here. I am and will start with an october update.

Lets talk halloween. I know, i know, it was a while ago now. It was my nephews 4th birthday and he had a halloween party. I have never dressed up for halloween but mum and dad wanted to. So here is me dressed as a midnight fairy/witch.

Next i had my ceiling hoist installed. It has been amazing and has cut down on the amount of carers that i need. Sorry about the bad picture x

Then my physio managed to get hold of a standing frame for me. I didn't think she would as they are quite rare but she was lucky or rather i was. 

It is huge and am waiting for it to be adapted for me, then i can use it.

Thanks for reading. Can't wait to do some craft posts x 

Update and Reindeers

Good afternoon.

I've been home from rehab for about 2 weeks. I have been busy with lots of appointments as per usual but i've had some good news.

Ive realised that although i hoped to get a lot out of rehab, i didn't really learn that much. We did transfers but only from there physio beds and they put them up and down for me. Sadly it doesn't reflect the real world where nothing is level.

Now to the good news

I am going to get a ceiling hoist in my bedroom so i can get myself in and out of bed. This will cut down on the amount of carers i need. Hoorah. Also getting a knew shower chair which goes over the toilet. It will make a huge difference. And the biggest is I'm getting a new car that i can drive my wheelchair into. Which means no more transfers. Sooo excited.

.Anyway enough about me, here are some reindeers. Sorry they are not real.

There were initially wooden so i painted and covered them. Of course they had to have bells on x 

Rehab day um i've forgotten

So it is now my third week in rehab. To be honest there were times that i was going to be sent home. I was determined to finish my journey though.

Friday afternoon i spent in A&E as my feeding tube was bleeding. It was put down to trauma. Instead of using patient transport to get home, i asked the hospital to book a taxi for me. They tried 8 taxi firms in my area and none would take me and my electric wheelchair. Finally i asked patient transport to take me home. I finally got home at about 10pm.

I was up at 4.30am yesterday ready to be picked up by transport. It was my favourite man and i interrogated him all the way. Turns out hes single 😍😍. He might pick me up on Friday (love is in the air haha)

In the morning i met with my o.t. She and my physio have confused me the whole time. One minute i need to learn to transfer and the next i need a more supportive wheelchair. So i jokingly asked her if i could do standing and finally she explained in simple terms how its not possible yet as i need to get stronger sitting. Phew we are now on the same page.

Next i saw the phycologist. I have been feeling very low all weekend and wanted to learn some techniques to tackle my spiral of emotions. We discussed why i felt like that. Partly due to my lack of food and water due to my peg problems.

We came up with a couple of solutions. The first was to write down my thoughts and then the facts etc. this helps put things into perspective. The second was to imagine the words in a ball out side of your head and then imagine burning it.

Today i did had a craft session. I really miss it, so i enjoyed having the time to do something. Here is what i made. It was free from a magazine but kept me entertained for a while.

Ive learnt a lot  about myself since being here. Mostly I've learnt not to be so mad at myself. X

Rehab update and feeling worthless

I haven't updated my rehab journey as i have been way to exhausted. After dragging myself through a few more days , the team decided to cut out some sessions in my timetable as it was getting to much for me.

Last week was tough as i had a problem with my feeding tube and had to cut my calories in half. This made me more exhausted and emotional.

In my sessions with the o.t and physio we are doing transfers from chair to bed. Its hard as you will get one good day out of me and then my body just won't perform. I see other people on the course getting stronger and its making me feel like I'm not working hard enough.

My physio and o.t are still not on the same page. One minute i should get a new wheelchair as mine isn't supportive enough, the next minute its too supportive and i need better posture. I need a car i can drive my wheelchair into but then I'm supposed to get stronger with my transfers. I'm so utterly confused.

My o.t wrote in my notes that I'm  resigned to life in a wheelchair and that i may not want to stand at all. I think she has misunderstood me. My walking declined over the years. It put a lot of stress on my joints and i ended up only being able to walk a few steps. I never gave up on walking and could of put myself in a chair many years ago. Eventually i lost the ability to walk and have again fought hard to regain some back but to no avail.

What people don't realise is when you have a chronic illness, walking is not going to make the symptoms go away. In some ways it will make life easier but it will also make it harder. I have more energy from a chair than walking. However one day maybe i will walk again but its not going to happen in 3 weeks.

I have other issues going on such as my gastroparesis. My feeding tube is still pretty new and my stomach has flared up. Without nutrition my body doesn't work. Simples.

Ive decided to speak to her on Monday but not sure how to word it.

I have one more week left at rehab and have made some good friends. I have learnt a few things about pacing and exercise but would like to learn more assertiveness.

Right now i'm feeling terribly low, angry with myself and an utter failure. Hopefully tomorrow will be better day x

Rehab day 6

i have been awake since 4.30am and arrived at stanmore at 8am. I feel asleep in the car. Hope i didn't snore.

Im the first one here and haven't got my first session until 10am.

Weekend review

My first session was to go over our goals that we set last week. I felt really lazy as everyone else managed to do fun things at the weekend and i just slept. My goals were : to perform physio throughout the day, to complete activity diary, to pace washing and dressing, to order some aids, to pace tidying craft room and to use post it notes to prompt good posture.

I achieved most of my goals but sadly didn't get into my craft room as i was to exhausted.

Anatomy and healing

In this session we went over how the bones, muscles ligaments and tendons worked and the effects ehlers danlos syndrome has on them. To be honest it was abit boring.

I had a break between 11.30am and 1pm so thought i would get some sleep. It was not to be as the other girls have endless energy so was very noisy even with earplugs.

Goal setting

We discussed how goal setting can help you ficus and feel like you've achieved something. I found this session quite useful.


I was then off to see the o.t. She had a look at what i did over the weekend and then we colour coded my activities. She then asked if i slept because i wanted to get out of dealing with life or something along those lines. I was deeply offended as in the early stages of my illness this was suggested, but now i have alot of medical letter that explain my conditions and symptoms. Ive tried not sleeping in the day and i end up even more unwell.

The course is centred around pain management and theres alot of people in here who don't do anything with there days and will just stay in bed. I do not accept being put into the same category. Ive fought hard to get to the level I'm at and now i'm questioning myself.

After a tearful session i went onto physio. She doesn't want me using my wheelchair headrest so she flipped it back. I feel like everything I've fought so hard for is being taken away. I feel like saying ' here take my chair, take my slide board, take everything as I've had enough.

Day 3 in rehab

Woke up this morning feeling dead. There was noone  to help me out of bed , so i dragged myself onto my chair but i couldn't sit up so was half on chair and half on the bed. Took me ages to sit up. I then went to the bathroom and attempted to get dressed. When I'm having a bad day i literally cannot move. Finally found someone to put my trousers and shoes on. I confess that i still have my socks on from yesterday as i couldn't change them. I rushed to have abit  of breakfast, take meds and flush my feeding tube.

Tai Chi

The first class was tai chi. I didn't know what to expect from the class. I was thinking it was some form of karate. I hoped so anyway.
My hopes were dashed in an instant. We all sat around in a circle while a lady said we need to close our eyes and visualise things. We then had to move our arms and legs. Brilliant in theory but i have no sense of where my limbs are in space. If i close my eyes my arms could end up anywhere.

My eyes had to stay open so i didn't really get much out if it. I was quite embarrassed as my feeding pump does a whirling sound every few minutes. Not good in a quiet room.
The lady used such words as ' effortless posture' and you will be 'revised and energised'. I thought this meant i was going to be like a duracell bunny, but i was more like a slug.

I didn't have another session for 45mins but i waited up in physio as my chair isn't charging well so i needed all the power i could get.

 Occupational therapy

Next was to see my o.t. We went straight into the bathroom. I immediately saw the bath and thought this was my kind of therapy, a long soak in the tub. It was not to be.

We talked about getting up, washed and dressed and how i'm managing.

I brought up that i was struggling with the lack of care on the wards and she is going to talk to the ward staff about it.

We came up with some solutions for my problems. Aids such as a long handled sponge, a thing that helps you to put your socks on and different baskets for dirty clothes. Also to put washing on the worktop instead of the floor to save bending.

 We then talked about my carers and how they need to do more work but also slow down and give me time in between showering and dressing. They tend to lug me out of bed and are only there about 30 mins instead of an hour.
After discussing all this my o.t said i looked very tired and we should finish early.

 Sadly no rest in between as i was off to a session in relaxation

 Intro to relaxation

 By this point i was exhausted. I was sort of listening but only caught little bits. My mind wondered. Here are my thoughts while i was trying to listen .

No idea what it is about, is it bed time yet.
I'm freezing cold.
I wonder if i'm going to get a chance to charge my chair
Need matchsticks to hold my eyes open but its a non smoking building so could be difficult.



 The lady said something about a person getting bitten by a snake but don't worry relaxation will help.
Picture of a leopard asleep on a tree, very jealous of mr leopard
I've got nothing left to give. Help

The lady then went onto talk about laughter therapy and my first thoughts were ' i don't think she would appreciate it if i starting laughing.





I then thought it might not be appropriate to laugh when your at a funeral. Yes i have random thoughts.

Next stop is an intro to assertiveness


We touched on subjects such as being aggressive, passive and assertive. I don't think theres much to say on this subject but i did wish real life was like sky tv where you can stop and rewind.




Physio

Yes i am still alive just. Physio was only half hour and something she said made me burst into tears. She asked me what i was upset about but i knew i would come across as defensive (see im learning ) if i told her she had upset me, so i decided to not tell her and think it over. We then went off to the sports centre and i realised i was rubbish at basketball, tabletennis and badminton.

Im now in bed after a very long day. Lets see what tomorrow brings x